When Harry Met Sally Er Michael
by lifeinanarchy
Summary: Harry goes looking for Mister. Hilarity ensues. It's just my interpretation of how the two met. I haven't read the short story of it so this is how'd I'd like to imagine it


Yay! Second fic uploaded today. I'm on a roll. So yeah, I'm going to presume that Jim Butcher wrote a short story about how they met but I haven't read it _yet _so this is how I picture it happening :) Enjoy

**_Disclaimer: I don't own The Dresden Files or the characters in this story. Everything apart from plot belongs to Jim Butcher._**

_**When Harry Met Sally- er, Michael.**_

Generally speaking it isn't a good idea walk through dark alleys. At night. By yourself. I mean you can come by all kinds of nasties. Like … rats, cockroaches, drunks and if you're really lucky maybe some gung-ho court-process clerk to mutter the words everyone loves hearing, 'you've been served'. But when you're a wizard the danger becomes a great deal higher, there are plenty of nasties that walk around dark alleys, the kinds that hide under your bed and go bump in the night. And in all honesty I probably should have learned by now but with all the bumps on the head I've received, I think I can get a little leniency when it comes to not learning from mistakes. But it's times like these that I really do wish that I'd start learning already.

Tonight Mister, my 10 ton great tom-cat hadn't come home from his morning stroll. Apparently his clock was off because he left around 4. But seeing as he would usually come back within the hour I figured I better look for him, he was my only company after all.

It was then I heard a woman's scream coming from a nearby alley which triggered me over protective tendencies to kick into overdrive and send my running carelessly for the alleyway. Now I knew that what I was doing was stupid but when a woman is in trouble I just have to help. Some may call that chauvinistic, I call it gentlemanly. I just can't leave a woman in distress to her own devices, that's just not how I roll. But running into one of said alleys I was confronted with one of said nasties.

And nasty was right.

It was vaguely humanoid in shape, and by that I mean he had a head. The rest was just an assortment of far too many limbs ending in all hands. And by far too many I mean that I didn't have enough fingers and toes to add them all up. And its skin was a translucent green making it look like someone had just used it as a Kleenex.

Yuck.

And it had a young woman, no older than 17 cornered next to a dumpster.

"Hey there, Legolas!" It was funny at the time ok.

Legolas didn't move, instead several eyes opened up on the side of the head that was facing me. Eww.

But before I had the chance to try anything effective he was running to me … well, more like rolling. I wasn't actually sure what the damage would be if he had caught up to me but I wasn't waiting around to find out. I released the kinetic energy from my ring and sent him flying down the alley and into the wall at the end. He bounced off it and was sent hurtling straight back at us. I looked over at the girl whose eyes were wide with fear then back to the monster who was going way faster than either of us could run.

I readied up my magic and sent a beam of fire heading straight towards Legolas. He just stopped in place but continued spinning and as he spun he reflected my attack. Crap. Guess I got lucky when he didn't see the kinetic attack coming. But that just meant that I probably wouldn't get any more in.

Legolas had finished shaking off my magic and continued rolling towards me but instead of hitting me straight on he went straight past me. I turned around and raised an eyebrow at the retreating monster thinking I may have done just enough to scare him off. But much to my dismay he just turned back and came at me full speed from the other direction. I readied my shield bracelet that hung from my left wrist but it wasn't enough. He hit me and sent me flying into the dumpster right next to the young girl.

Right, two birds, one stone.

Legolas had stopped rolling and was now facing us, his beady eyes blinking slowly. Still wondering how he would eviscerate us I looked to see that he had no mouth. About half a second after I had that thought he broke in half revealing a full set of pointy drooly teeth.

Now that's just gross.

He started advancing on two hands that he was using as feet towards us. I readied my shield to cover both me and the girl and tried to get her as behind me as possible. She started whimpering which didn't help my chivalry drive at all because there was nothing I could do to stop him. I started counting down how long it would take.

3.

2.

1.

0.

It didn't come, I opened my eyes to see a man with a sword…what? He was tall and built with muscle. You know, the kind I didn't have. When he stood he stood with a purpose, he wasn't scared, well visibly so.

"Are you ok?" He had turned around to face me which in turn showed me his eyes. They were strong and filled with something I couldn't quite pinpoint for the time being. But I nodded and he turned back around to Legolas. "You shall not harm these two."

When he spoke his voice resonated with a no question attitude. I know there's a word for it but I just can't think of silly little things like the dictionary when I'm in a near death situation.

It was at that moment I noticed the man was wearing a sheath with a very large hilt hanging out the end of it. The man reached around to grab the hilt of the sword and removed it from its casing. The sword glowed with a bluish light and resonated with a power I couldn't quite grasp.

It was then that Legolas charged the man but before he could do any damage he had swung the sword across and chopped the nasty in two.

And nasty was right.

He had split the thing right in half and had exposed a fluorescent green liquid that practically glowed in the dimness of the alleyway. The liquid had covered the pavement around the Legolas and was slowly spreading to the three of us before it turned into ectoplasm and stuck to the ground where it was.

Once the man deemed it safe he sheathed the sword and turned around to face us.

"Are you two alright?" I nodded my head as he grasped my hand and pulled me up off the floor.

"Yeah, wouldn't be the first time that's happened to me." He raised an eyebrow curiously and decided that what I said had been a joke. Yeah, right.

We looked back down to the girl to see that she had fainted.

"That, however, has not happened to me before." The man shook his head as he reached down to pick up the limp girl bridal style.

"They say you shouldn't make the first date so great that you can't top it on the second." The man chuckled as he extended his hand from under the girl. He was a large fellow so he had no trouble holding her weight. "Michael Carpenter."

"If only mate, if only." I grasped his hand and gave it a firm shake. "Harry Dresden." They dropped hands and Michael got a better hold of the girl.

"Well Harry, I know I'm going to run into you again. So I'll go take care of her-" indicating towards the girl in his arms "-and I'll most certainly see you again."

Michael turned on his heel and retreated to his truck parked by the side of the road, the hilt of the sword glowing in the moonlight. Rather scenic, if I do say so.

Having had enough action for one night I made my way around the ectoplasm and back to my door only to have my legs assaulted by a large grey mass of Mister just begging to be let inside.

"Come on, you're probably hungry. You're always hungry." Mister looked at me indignantly and flicked his tail at me as I shut the door behind me.

* * *

So what did you think? I hope you at least got a coupel of chuckles out of it. I tried doing it Jim Butcher style so yeah, review and tell me how I went :) If he sounds a bit British that's because when I first started reading The Dresden Files I was picturing him as James Marsters (He did the audio books just incase you didn't know) who had a cockney accent in Buffy (YAY BUFFY) ok I'll stop ranting now. Review! :)

Baci! xx


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